after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
