Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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