i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
