I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Will exercising make me less horny?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
