just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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