I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
