So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
