Can Purell be used as lube?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
