why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
