My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
