I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize