Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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