we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
