i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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