OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
