I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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