woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
