I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
