i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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