Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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