i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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