I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm like, not good at living.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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