shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
