butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
