It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
