Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
