somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
