You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
