Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
