maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is Oprah even human
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
