dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
