i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
