I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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