Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
