Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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