that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
