She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
