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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  Ew you even made it your fb status

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  Ppl probably think ur having a kid

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I hope

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Love having children with random chicks

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you hit it?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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• (845): View more from New York

  My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...

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