so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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