Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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