Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You don't make any sense
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