no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
