Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
