He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
