Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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