at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
