Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
