i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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