And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
