it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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